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sigara değildi... tütündü... bu benim kendimi avutma yöntemimdi. artık bağları kopardığım keş bir arkadaşım vardı ve memlekete dönmektense o yaz boyunca staj yapmam gerektiği için istanbul'da kalmıştım. şirketten akşam 4-5 gibi çıkıyor ve 6-7 gibi yurtta oluyordum; ot içtiği için yurttan atılmış ve şimdilik başka bir arkadaşın evinde kalan bir arkadaşım vardı. ben de abd'de bulunduğum seneler ota, marihuanaya bulaşmıştım ancak o orada olup bitmişti. sigara ise hiç içmemiştim. bununla o evde buluştuk; ben sevdiğim kıza açılamamak, stajda işlerin yolunda gitmemesi ve ailemden ayrı kaldığım onlarca haftanın ardından melankolik ve duygusal bir hal almıştım. depresyondaydım. içelim dedik, vodka aldık. tütün makinesiyle tütün hazırladı, yarı sarhoştum, uzattı: "al. iyi gider." dedi. "nasıl olur, ben sigara alamam." dedim. biliyordum ki bu meret ot gibi bağımlılık yapmayan bir şey değildi; çokça insanın hayatını gibmişti. böylesine bilinçli bir insan olarak dayanamadım ve yaktım bir tane. sonra bir tane daha istedim. sonra bir tane daha... bir başka gün "yine sarsana" dedim. sonra kendi makinemi aldım ve sonra profesyönel bir şekilde makinesiz sarmaya başladım. günde 10-15 tane içtiğimi ve akciğerlerimde sızım sızım sızlayan bir ağrııyla berbat halde uyanıp staja gittiğim günleri bilirim. meret her yerde gidiyordu. akıl alır iş değildi. yemek sonrasında, tuvalette, serin havada, sıcak havada, ayağın yolda giderken taşa takıldığında, ve özellikle sevdiklerin, ailen aklına geldiğinde... hüzünlendiğinde... neşelendiğinde... iyi haber aldığında, kötü haber aldığında... çay içerken, kahve içerken, alkol alırken, kısacası içerken... ders çalışırken 10 dakika ara verince hele ne zevk verirdi... stajın evraklarıyla, bin türlü taku püsürüyle uğraşırken, bin türlü kuruma kuruluşa koştururken... 4 ay boyunca içtim. asla sigar satın almadım, kilo kilo tütün satın alıyordum- hem de en kalitelisinden, bu benim avuntumdu. "sigara değil ki doğal bir ot sonuçta." diyordum ama sonuçta sigaraydı işte... yine içinde bin türlü katkı maddesi vardı, bağımlılık yapıcıydı ve sağlığa zararlıydı üstelik günlük yaşantımda sorun olmaya başlamıştı. kendime özen göstermemeye ve serkeş bir hayat yaşamaya başlamıştım. yalnızca şirkette geçirdiğim zamanlarda düzgün giyiniyor, düzgün davranıyordum ancak aslında her şey farklıydı. velhasıl kelam, bıraktım. sevdiklerim için, ailem için bıraktım yine, onlar sayesinde. o öğrenmeseydi belki hala içiyor olacaktım. onun öğrenmesi her şeyi değiştirdi. 6 ay önce bıraktım, zaman zaman özellikle aşırı hüzünlü hissettiğimde içme isteği az da olsa geliyor ama kurtuldum sayılır. and içtim, yemin ettim bir daha içmeyeceğime.

Look - I'm not implying I only have fifteen things in my kitchen. I love to cook, to the point that I ask for new tools and gadgets for Christmas and birthday presents. But, I also cook three meals a day at home, and for 90% of them, it's with the same basic handful of utensils and cookware. When visiting some of my favorite restaurants with open kitchens, I started to notice the same handful of items on display - hanging on walls, at the prep station - as the ones that are so much used at my house they rarely leave the drying rack.

So, countertop appliances aside (blenders are great) and excluding standard utensil-caddy stuff like mixing spoons (I like bamboo) and dish towels (get some), here's ManMade's guide to the fifteen tools every kitchen needs, all selected with an eye toward buying quality items that'll last as long as you can stand by a stove. They might not be the only things you need, but they're darn close. And, if you wanna cook like a chef, shop like a chef and choose the restaurant supply version of many of these. They're made to take a beating.

1. Spring-Loaded Tongs: Hands down, the most used item in my kitchen. They're like a heatproof extension of your hands, providing for dexterity and precision tasks that a spoon or spatula just can't match. I keep a pair of silicon and steel-tipped ones on hand for nearly every meal, using them for most flipping, stirring, and mixing tasks.

2. Enamel-Coated Cast Iron Dutch Oven: An investment piece, but one of the most versatile. These things are heavy, stout, and efficient. Goes from stovetop to oven to grill to refrigerator, and if you take care of it, will last for life. A round model in the 7-quart range will accomplish most takes like braises, stews and soups, deep frying, and searing.

3. Stainless Steel Mixing Bowls: Unless you're using the microwave, forget the breakable glass or colorful plastic, and opt for affordable, built-to-take-a-beating restaurant-style mixing bowls. These guys can take heat, so you don't have to worry about them melting if they get too close to the flame. Find some with a nice lip and a low bowl shape for easy tossing and handling. I even use mine on the range for popcorn, or on the grill as a lid or to heat sauces. If you buy them all from the same manufacturer, they'll store nicely inside each other, taking up little space.

4. Butcher Block Cutting Board: Unless you're dealing with raw meats or other contaminating ingredients, don't waste your time or budget with a bunch of flexible plastic cutting mats, or glass or stone boards that will ruin your knives. Just get a large, heavy hardwood model, and use it for all your tasks. If you have the tools, these are a great project to make at home for much less (they also make great gifts), but if shopping, look for one at least 16x20 and 1-2" thick made of hard maple, cherry, or walnut. Bamboo is cool too, but hardwood will last for decades. These are a popular project for woodworkers (I can't count how many I've done), so check out local handmade shops and fairs or Etsy for cool ideas. Otherwise, you can't go wrong with pro models from John Boos or OzarkWest.

5. 8-Inch Chef's Knife: Forget all the fancy block set of micro-serrated blade and late-night ginsu infomercials, and just get the few knives you need. To start, invest in a quality 8" chef's knife for the majority of your slicing and chopping tasks. Trying them out in the store is best since different models fit different hand sizes, but a great all-around option (affordable) are the Victorinox Fibrox Series from the same folks who make Swiss Army knives.

6. 10 or 12-Inch Cast Iron Skillet: Every person should own a cast iron skillet. Seriously: what else do you own that can go from campfire to freezer to charcoal grill to blazing hot oven to electric cooktop, and then allow you to serve your dinner out of it? My vote is to buy old, unseasoned (or poorly seasoned) cast iron from the flea market or secondhand shop and season it yourself, providing for an unbeatable, long lasting cooking surface, but if you're just trying to move away from using Teflon for everything, starting with a pre-seasoned skillet is better than nothing.

7. Microplane Zester/Grater: These guys originated as woodworking tools for rasping and shaping edges, but chefs soon realized they were the perfect thing for finely grating hard cheeses, chocolate, citrus, aromatics, and spices. I prefer the non-handled models, because you can flip the case over and use it to catch your shavings. I also prefer handle-style graters to box graters in general - I only ever use two sides of that thing anyway. Get a large, fine, and zester size Microplane. They take less room to store, and cost less money.

8. 1 1/2 Quart Stainless Sauce Pan with Lid: For all those liquid-heavy tasks where the dutch oven would just be overkill, a heavy-bottomed sauce pan works perfectly. Boiling water for grains or rice, reheating leftovers, making potatoes, simmering sauces, etc.

9. Instant Read Thermometer - If you cook proteins like meat or fish, there's nothing worse than overcooking them to dryness, or not cooking them to safe temperatures. Pro chefs can do this by sight and touch, but most of us home cooks cannot. An instant read thermometer costs less than $20, and avoids either error. Also great for coffee making and food crafts like cheese, jellies, pickles, and candy.

10. 1 Qt Measuring Cup: Perfect heat-resistant complement to the baking set in your utensil drawer. Great for boiling water in the microwave, catching draining liquids, as a small mixing bowl for salad dressings or sauces. I'll usually eat soup in one, too.

11. Half Sheet Pan and Cooling Rack: Forget the dark, non-stick surfaces and airbake technology, and invest in a few restaurant style half-sheet pans and accompanying racks. You can do everything from roast vegetable to bake cookies to your Thanksgiving turkey on one of these, and the rack makes a perfect surface for resting a steak or draining homemade french fries. Buy these together so everything fits perfectly and stores nicely in very little space.

12. Non-stick skillet: As much as I love the crust and caramelization created by stainless and cast iron, there are some notoriously sticky ingredients that really do benefit from non-stick: eggs, fish, pancakes, crepes, and the like. While I definitely don't recommend a whole set, keeping one around for special tasks is helpful. No need to be a hero. But do know these don't last forever, so there's no reason to spend hundreds of bucks on one.

13. Mandoline Slicer: Many wouldn't consider these an essential, but you'll see them in every chef's knife kit. They make such quick work of repetitive tasks, and allow you to make cuts you couldn't do with a knife, such as super thin slices for homemade potato chips. They're super helpful for food craft projects such as canning and pickling, and if use it safely, will find a way into your daily rountine as well. Just use the hand guard, or better yet, a cut-proof glove.

14. Mesh Strainer: Another great restaurant supply store find. After grabbing a few of these, I rarely get out a colander anymore, and especially love that these help save the liquid, the solids, or both. I prefer medium mesh options for nearly everything, and love the little arms that attach to the side of my quart measuring cup or stainless bowl. $7.00 very well spent.

15. Stainless Steel 3 Qt. Saute Pan: The last piece to complement the cast iron and non-stick. Stainless is great for searing and developing deep caramelization flavors. I like using this over cast iron when high heat retention isn't as essential, or when I want the ingredients to stick a bit, such as browning veggies or onions. It's like color guarantees you won't burn the flavorful bits at the bottom, and it's high, straight sides make it great for cooking things that start out big but reduce a lot, such as greens or cabbage, or for making quick work of sauces. A great everyday workhorse.

Remember: If you're out on your own for the first time, or just trying to build a quality kitchen arsenal, buying the better quality thing once is better than having to replace everything every few years.