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a first-grade teacher, ms brooks was having trouble with one of her students. the teacher asked, "harry what is your problem?" harry answered, "i'm too smart for the first-grade. my sister is in the third-grade and i'm smarter than she is! i think i should be in the third-grade too!"

ms brooks had had enough. she took harry to the principal's office. the principal told harry he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. he agreed.

principal: "what is 3 x 3?"
harry: "9".
principal: "what is 6 x 6?"
harry: "36".

and so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

the principal looks at ms brooks and tells her, "i think harry can go to the third-grade."

ms brooks says to the principal, "let me ask him some questions." the principal and harry both agree.

ms brooks asks, "what does a cow have four of that i have only two of?" harry, after a moment: "legs."

ms brooks: "what is in your pants that you have but i do not have?" harry: "pockets."

ms brooks: "what does a dog do that a man steps into?" harry: "pants"

ms brooks: what's starts with a c and ends with a t, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? harry: coconut

ms brooks: what goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, harry said: bubblegum

ms brooks: what does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?

the principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. harry said: shake hands

ms brooks: now i will ask some "who am i" sort of questions, okay? harry: yep.

ms brooks: you stick your poles inside me. you tie me down to get me up. i get wet before you do. harry: tent

ms brooks: a finger goes in me. you fiddle with me when you're bored. the best man always has me first. the principal was looking restless and a bit tense. harry: wedding ring

ms brooks: i come in many sizes. when i'm not well, i drip. when you blow me, you feel good. harry: nose

ms brooks: i have a stiff shaft. my tip penetrates. i come with a quiver. harry: arrow

ms brooks: what word starts with an 'f' and ends in 'k' that means a lot of heat and excitement? harry: fire truck

the principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "put harry in the fifth-grade, i got the last ten questions wrong myself."