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judges disqualify "little milton" in last minute rumpus
the society for literary advancement and gestation (slag), announced their decision late last night to disqualify eight year old prizewinner gerald (little milton) bostock following the hundreds of protests and threats received after the reading of his epic poem "thick as a brick" on b.b.c. television last monday night.
a hastily reconvened panel of judges accepted the decision by four leading child psychiatrists that the boy's mind was seriously unbalanced and that his work was a product of an "extremely unwholesome attitude towards life, his god and country". bostock was recommended for psychiatric treatment following examination "without delay". the first prize will now be presented to runner up mary whiteyard (aged 12) for her essay on christian ethics entitled, "he died to save the little children".

the literary competition, which was for children aged from 7 to 16 years of age, was sponsored by leading national newspapers and received thousands of entries from schools all over britain. mr.humphrey martin, the headmaster of moordale primary school said gerald, nicknamed "little milton" by his english master because of his poetic ability, was mentally advanced for his age, although inclined on occasions to obscure and verbose assertions which led him to being somewhat unpopular with his schoolmates. he went on to say that without doubt the child had a great future academically and that his progress was unsurpassed in the history of moordale primary. gerald and his parents moved to st. cleve four years ago from manchester when mr. bostock decided for health reasons to live away from the city. david bostock now does occasional gardening work while his wife daphne is well known to the congregation of st. cleve parish church for her activities in social work and her wonderful buffet lunchroom at the fete last saturday. well done, daphne! mr. bostock said this morning of "little milton's" disqualification, "we are heartbroken at the way the judges changed their minds, and the loss of the prize money and scholarship means we shall find difficulty in paying the instalments on gerald's encyclopedia britannica. i shall have to do dr. munson's roses next week after all." when he heard of the decision against him, gerald went to his room and locked the door, "mrs bostock and i are sorely vexed at the way this has turned out", said mr. bostock of no. 6 pollit close, st. cleve.
many local residents are also annoyed and hurt by the news and as some consolation to gerald and his parents the st. cleve chronicle prints the full text of the disqualified poem this week on page 7.

g _ _ r
many of the viewers who heard gerald read his work on the "young arts" programme on b.b.c. 2 felt that it was not one poem but a series of separate poems put together merely to appear impressive. many of the viewers' complaints were centred around "little milton's" use of a four letter (continued on page 4, col.6)

flute concert at parrit rooms
a concert by the hyde close flute and cello ensemble was held in the parrit rooms, flood street, st. cleve, on tuesday night. a sensitive and, dare one say, passionate, performance was rendered by the five musicians but was spoilt at times by an exceedingly restless and shifyt audience. the ensemble is well known and liked for its spirited and extroverted style, but some of the quieter and more meaningful passages were lost on the otherwise enthusiastic audience. the music included two scotions of the tycho asavrick suite in f major by jeffrey teller and a contemporary piece by ena sanderone. i-s-m

head injury
fifty-two year old sarah pickles of the high street, st. cleve, cut her head when she tripped over while walking in the high street, st. cleve